Everyone needs to stop saying "everyone"

It happens almost daily. Someone asks, "Who is going?" And then someone answers, "Everyone." I hate hearing that answer. Everyone isn’t going. The world has over 6 billion people … and there are only 10 people going. For example, each week on Sunday nights after "church service" we might have 3 or 4 groups of people go eat at various places. Someone will describe their particular group, as "everyone" and I always have to refrain from slapping them. What about the people who ate somewhere else? What about the people that didn't go eat anywhere? Just because your 10 friends are all eating at one giant table, doesn't mean that everyone is there.

I am not really sure why I hate hearing this. I think the person who says “everyone” assumes that no one exists beyond his or her self and close friends. And this self-centered assumption irritates me.

Speaking of being self-centered, I just witnessed a hilarious interaction. I am in a local bookstore checking email and studying. An elderly man walked up to a store employee and asked, "Where are the plain old regular books?" The employee said, "I am not sure what you mean by 'regular books.' What type of book is it that you are looking for?" As the old grumpy man stood in the middle of a large bookstore, he gestured in the air as if he were impatiently swatting a fly three feet from his head, while he bemoaned, "Not all this other stuff, just plain regular books!" Those last three words were spoken slowly, as if each were its own sentence, and each was accentuated with one hand palm up, and the other hand karate chopping into it as if he were literally underscoring each spoken word.

With a straight face, the employee asked, "Do you mean general fiction?" [no response] "Current events?" [no response] A second employee chimed in, "Classics?" [still no response] I could see where all these genres could be seen as "plain old regular books," but none seemed to trigger a response from the frustrated man.

I can only conclude that he was referring to his favorite kind of book (whatever that is), and assumed that his personal choice was in the perfect middle of the book evaluation spectrum.

I am not sure why it bothers me for someone to assume that their particular favorite book style is the center of the genre classification universe, but it is the same reason I hate the use of the word "everyone" when in fact it is just a dozen of one's friends. Both fail to see beyond their nose in some way.

Psychologists say, the specific things you tend to hate about other people are often the things you actually hate about yourself, but are afraid to look at. Maybe I hate my own self-centeredness and if I would address my own self-centered assumptions, I'd stop hating them so much in others. Maybe I would stop being mad at people for eating out with "everyone," and maybe I’d go help this old grumpy man find a good old plain regular book.

Last I saw, he walked away from the employee and muttered something about "looking around." I can't see him anymore. I hope he found what he was looking for.

Comments

[lisa]

ok, I like this new rule. I always wonder who everyone is. do i use everyone in this gerneral sense? if so, I apologize and you can yell at me the next time i do it...

by the way I saw your boy in the JFP. cool!

[Bobby]

I have heard the same thing said -that you dislike characteristics in others that you yourself have. But, I hate inconsiderate drivers - people who cruise in the left lane, talk on their cell phone while driving, etc. I, myself, am a very considerate driver. For instance, if I pull up to a four way stop sign at the same time as someone else, I usually motion for them to go through first . . . unless he/she is an old person who I estimate will take a long time to go and is probably not in a big hurry anyway because he doesn't have to work anymore like I do. I am sorta inconsiderate generally but only with little things . . . like I don't think to tell people at work they did a good job on something but it doesn't bother me if people don't tell me I did a good job.

[Stacy Andrews]

Misplaced hatred isn’t always what is going on. I think that we are misplacing the hatred when we respond in "big ways" to something others are doing that is a "small deal." When our response is not proportional to the action, we are probably misplacing it. For example, someone says "everyone" and I want to slap them. That is not proportional. To be irritated at bad drivers sounds pretty proportionate. What do you think?

[Stacy Andrews]

yeah lisa, that was a cool article on parker in the JFP. now i have to deal with him thinking he is famous ...

[Justin]

awesome thoughts.

your blogs always cheer me up.

Justin

[Julie]

I think I am guilty of using "everyone" at times when not everyone is doing something or going somewhere. But just as annoying, I think, is when people are trying to prove a point and use the ever-ambiguous "they say that..." Who the heck is THEY anyway? Know what I mean? Why are we all stupid sometimes? :)

[lisa]

i said everyone today in this context. later I laughed about it when it realized what i had done. then i pictured you slapping me in the face...

[Bobby]

I completely agree, Stacy. I think my irritation at bad drivers is proportional to the negative impact they have on us all. I often see myself on a mission to save the world from bad drivers. Sometimes, I wish I had special rights to pull over an inconsiderate driver and give him a ticket (and a lecture) for being inconsiderate on the road.

[Tim]

i agree on the "everyone" statements. my kids use it all the time.

thanks for the grumpy old man story...i'm still laughing.